Confession

Lourdes confession

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Here’s a confession: for the past couple weeks, I’ve been pretty fixated on all the little parts of my body that I wish I could change.  Several times I’ve seriously considered the various ways in which I could try to lose some weight.  More than once I’ve completely given myself over to the idea that if I were thinner, my life would be great and I’d have no problems!

Reality check!

When you have trouble with food and eating, it’s probably not a good idea to go on a diet.  It doesn’t help to obsess over all the parts of your body that you wish were different.  And if you were thinner, you’d have all the same problems, and maybe even a few more.  Sometimes it can be hard for me to fully internalize these things, even though I can understand them perfectly well on an intellectual level.

Wouldn’t life be so much simpler if we could just love our bodies and not worry about these things?  Or if there were at least some easy way out of these body-hating ruts we can sometimes get stuck in?

When I’m having a difficult day (whether it’s because I’m depressed, or disappointed, or angry, or whatever), Nat basically just hugs me until I feel better.  It’s like a full-on attack of love and even though I sometimes resist it at first, when I eventually give in and accept the hug, I’m able to let go of a lot of the things that are bothering me.  And maybe that’s the best way to deal with these sorts of feelings when they come up: instead of giving in and becoming submerged in these negative ideas about ourselves, we should try fighting back with a barrage of self-love and acceptance.

It could work, right?  And even if it doesn’t, there’s really nothing to lose.  A little self-acceptance never hurt nobody.

 

 

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3 comments

  1. I love Nat’s solution… sometimes I wish I got that, but when I need it I’m in no state of mind to actually ask for it. I just really wish I knew how to love my body for what it is. I’m such an advocate for that, but it’s really hard to put it into practice at times!

    1. I know exactly what you mean, hence my guilt at feeling like I’m not even living up to the standards I’ve set for myself. I’m also really bad at asking for things when I need them–Nat and I talked about the hug thing at a point when I wasn’t upset or emotional. It was much easier for me to state my needs at that point, and it has really helped. Maybe you could make a list of things that you think could make you feel better at a time when you’re feeling okay, and then you have it to pull out and help you when you need it?

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