- Dedicating a good part of the day to thinking about how satisfying it would be to: a) continue eating *just enough* to have eaten something but not enough to have gotten the slight feeling of hunger to go away; b) purge; c) engage in some kind of exercise to an excessive degree.
- Feeling frustrated, angry, and stressed about things that are going on at work, and either bottling it up or trying to convince myself that everything is fine and I’m perfectly calm.
- Continuing to feel so stressed that it feels a little bit like I may have strained something in my sinuses by my right eye, resulting in a dull, aching, and enduring headache.
- Feeling guilty for how little I’ve run this week.
- Feeling guilty about the fact that it’s only January 20th, and I’ve already kind of slipped on a lot of the goals I set earlier in the month.
- Thinking (because of all the guilt) that maybe I should completely overhaul EVERYTHING I’m doing and start doing a bunch of crazy things so that I can feel like I’m accomplishing something (i.e. run every day for 100 days! Do at least 30 minutes of exercise every day for the rest of the year! Stop eating sugar! Go from vegetarian to vegan! Note: any of these things in and of themselves are fine if you want to do them–the problem here is not so much the thing itself but the motivation behind it).
- Being honest about the fact that these things are going on.
- Eating enough to make the hunger pangs go away; not purging; not exercising excessively.
- Realizing that this week has been difficult, and if I don’t meet a mileage goal or I only run 3-4 times instead of 5, it’s OKAY. Also, remembering that running is something I enjoy, not a form of punishment.
- Letting myself experience anger and frustration and burning it off in healthy ways: pounding the pavement; a yoga practice that focuses a lot on the core (this is an area where lots of anger can be stored, working it can be very satisfying if you’re trying to work out frustrating and anger); turning up and/or belting out some Fiona Apple, or maybe some Rage Against the Machine.
- Recommitting to my January goals and appreciating the fact that they are not hard and fast rules and don’t change anything about the person I am if I don’t complete them 100%.
- Forgiving myself and accepting that perfection doesn’t exist (so I don’t have to keep holding myself to an impossible standard) and that life is much better when you act like a friend to yourself, not an enemy.