Decisions, decisions

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Image by commander_klaus via Flickr

I was sort of on a blogging streak for a while back there.  Then WordPress deleted that one post I did, and the wind went out of my sails.  I plan on getting that wind back, I’ll have you know!

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew which decision was the right one, and which was the wrong one, and still chosen the wrong one?  Yeah, that’s me today.  I decided not to run.  I mean, it’s not that big a deal, except that this week was supposed to be my peak mileage week and so far I’ve only run once.  Tomorrow is my 20-mile long run, which I fully plan to do, but today I just can’t muster the will to put on my running shoes and head out the door.  I’m not even really sure why.  As a result, this will be my lowest mileage week in a while.  I guess that’s just the way things are sometimes.

I want to make it clear that I’m not calling this the wrong decision just because I won’t meet my mileage goal, or because it just means I won’t be running.  I actually think it’s the wrong decision because of what it says about my current state of mind.  This isn’t the first week of this training cycle where I’ve missed a few runs, but when it’s happened before, I haven’t let the fact of missing one or two runs translate into feeling like there’s not much point in trying to salvage the week.  This week, though, that is sort of how I feel.  Also, I enjoy running.  Usually I want to go out and run, and even when I’m not feeling 100% up to it, I feel better once I get started.  In not going, I’m not really doing myself any favors.  If I were to go, it’s pretty likely that when I got back, I’d be in less of a funk.  And yet I don’t really want to bother finding out.

Personally, I blame the fact that it is dark when I wake up, and pretty much dark when I get home from work.  I know that’s why I missed a few runs during the week.  I’ll be completely honest–I’m scared to run in the dark.  Not only can you step on something treacherous and twist an ankle (not good when you three weeks until your marathon), you also don’t know who’s lurking in the trees, ready to jump out and snatch you.  Does anyone else have a problem with this?  And if so, how do you get past it?  This is the time of year when I really feel I need to transition into morning running, but it’s also the time of year when I really just want to snuggle deeper under the covers once my alarm goes off.  I also blame the fact that I’ve been in a wee funk lately, for no particular reason.

Who knows?  Maybe I’ll run through the funk tomorrow during my long run.

I just want to add, also for no particular reason, that I activated the Zemanta function on WordPress, and for some reason for this post it has suggested pictures of giraffes and rhinoceroses.  So I thought it relevant to add that rhino picture you see above.  It’s for all you animal lovers out there.

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3 comments

  1. I think a lot of us can relate to the way you feel, i.e., snuggling under the covers on these dark, autumnal mornings, and not wanting to go out for a run after work when it’s just starting to get dark (which means it will continue to get darker still). Well, just do the best you can do! You’ll find the right solution. I still think you might want to find a gym – that would at least help you with the after-work runs, at least for the autumn-winter months. Keep up the good work!

  2. there’s also a difference between “salvaging” your week and trying to make-up for missed-runs. no point in cramming, marathons aren’t like tests! just do what you can. hope the 20-miler went well.

    the darkness is sucking too. any way you can run at lunch, at least a few days a week? as for the ‘scared of the dark’, i am that way too sometimes. i try to not let myself think of those things. chances of someone hiding where i run are slim (or so i believe). is there anyone you can run with (even if just a few times a week?) – that helps me a) realize that i am OK to run in the dark and b) makes me have more motivation to get out of bed in the early morning.

    1. I’ve actually been considering joining a running club. I don’t have any friends in the area who run, but it would definitely be nice to be able to meet up with a few other people. Not only would it make running in the dark less scary, it might also give me a sense of accountability 🙂

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