Too many mutha’uckas

I left my apartment this afternoon for a 5.5 mile run, Garmin 201 (I know, old school!) on my wrist, ipod strapped to my arm, and a song in my heart.  Okay, maybe there was no song in my heart, but whatever.  The weather was nice and I was looking forward to using the Garmin after a hiatus (my Nike+ died so I decided to go with a more reliable form of technology).  Things started going wrong immediately.

I turned on the Garmin figuring that I didn’t want to wait around forever for it to acquire satellites and all that stuff.  Then a woman came out of my building (she had slipped into the front lobby as I was coming out) and accosted me. To be fair, it didn’t start off that way.  Initially, she was polite enough, saying, “Excuse me, could I ask you something?”  The thing is, at this point I was almost about to start running and I could tell by the way she asked that she was going to keep talking regardless of how I answered her question.  So I obliged.  She showed me a slip of paper with an address on it, and not an address for somewhere in the city.  She even had the city name down, and it was not “New York, NY”, or “Queens, NY”, or “Brooklyn, NY”, or something like that.  It was some town outside of the city.  I mean, it was like Hartsdale, or something.  Not exactly a stone’s throw from Manhattan.  She also had a phone number written down and the area code was completely unrecognizable to me.  She asked me if I knew where this was, and I shook my head and told her no, I was sorry, but I didn’t.  Then she started yelling.  And internally, I sighed.  I knew when I saw this woman that she was crazy (these are the things you develop a sense for when you live in New York) and I just didn’t feel like dealing with it.  And she just yelled at me like this was all my fault.  Like I had picked her up the way you do with that little yellow man in Google Maps, and dropped her in the middle of nowhere but told her it was exactly where she was supposed to be.  As she yelled at me, I edged away and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you”.  She started to walk away, then came back and started yelling at me some more.  I repeated that I was sorry and didn’t know what to tell her, and basically ran off at that point.  I’m sorry if she needed help and I failed to get it for her, but I don’t appreciate getting yelled at for something I have no control over.  If I can’t give you directions from my apartment to some place in fucking Hartsdale, don’t shout at me.  I am not Google Maps.  Nor am I the one who put you here in the first place.  I get so tired of crap like that.  I really do.

I ran down the street toward Central Park and thought that since it was such a nice day, maybe once I got into the park I would sit down and let my Garmin locate a satellite signal.  I peered down at it when I got into the park just to see if it had made any progress acquiring, and saw that it read “2:00”, which I thought was sort of interesting, since I always think it’s funny when I look at the time and it’s exactly on the hour, or the minute, or whatever.  I jogged over to the benches by the Harlem meer and was about to sit down when I realized the Garmin had crashed.  Completely frozen.  It occurred to me that since I was so close to home I could easily run back, put my watch on, and start over again, but I didn’t want to run into any crazy, shouting people again.  So I decided to just suck it up and run without any sense of how fast I was going, or any idea how long it was taking me.  At least my ipod still worked, anyway.

My run was like my yoga session this morning (which was good, but I just felt really run down the whole time) and after a certain point, I decided to just write it off and be happy to accomplish anything.  Actually, my yoga session was a lot better than my run.  For one thing, while doing yoga, I didn’t have to deal with anyone else.  While running, I had to constantly dodge people who were just walking slowly in zig-zagging lines all over the place, or doing the same thing while running, or walking and then stopping unpredictably…stuff like that.  My arches hurt, my calves kept tightening up, and I wanted to just throw in the towel the entire way.  On my way back home, I walked for a bit up a hill.  At that point, I knew I could run the hill, but I just didn’t feel like doing it.  I mean, it was just a mental battle I didn’t feel like fighting at that point.  I’m not sure what’s going on today.  My stomach has been upset all afternoon (nothing new, as many of you know), but I’m well-rested and I’ve been eating well (or so I thought).  My roommates ordered take out last night so I got a salad that ended up being pretty small.  I just wanted to not feel left out, but I also didn’t want something too heavy.  Instead, I think I got something that was a bit under-nourishing, and I still felt left out.  Who knows, though, maybe I just had an off day.  Tomorrow will be better.

Anyway, I figure I probably ran about 5.25 in all.  I don’t know how long it took, I don’t want to bother clocking the distance online, I just figure it was 5 miles (at least) and I’ll leave it at that.  And I’ll leave you with this:



  1. What a crazy story! I luckily have yet to run into crazy people as I am beginning a run. I do, however, have to deal with the occasional walker inhibiting my path. Or…the biker who scares the crap out of me by saying shouting “on your LEFT!” right next to my shoulder.

  2. How did that lady get into your lobby! Well, don’t answer since I just re-read and saw that she slipped in as you were exiting. But you are right – it’s one of the downsides of city life. I guess the beautiful weather often brings out the crazies! I had my first experience with bikers and other runners/walkers out on the parkway last weekend. It can really throw a monkey wrench into your run.

  3. Ah, the NYC crazies! Gotta love ’em! I once got trapped in the front ATM area of my bank (after hours) with one . . . it was quite an experience. But hey, at least you got out there and got the run in! And it was such a nice day out too! I hope Garmin gets better soon! 🙂

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