WTF: Monday edition

This morning’s WTF moment comes to us from R. Kelly. That’s right, R. Kelly! No, not the child-molesting, talentless, trapped in the closet R. Kelly, I would never post any trash of his here. This R. Kelly is far more talented, respectable, attractive, intelligent, and inspiring, not to mention a great mother and all-around great person. Here’s what she has to share with us:

First: yesterday and today I have had a hate-on for stupid people in cars. (Well, actually, the hate-on goes much farther back than the past two days, but I had the same basic experience both days so it’s worse now.) Yesterday I went out grocery shopping, realizing much too late that it was Superbowl Sunday and thus the grocery store was mobbed. I went straight for the farthest area of the parking lot and it was stop-and-go the whole way, and when I finally reached an aisle I thought might give me some luck, someone was pulling out of a space and I couldn’t turn into the aisle without hitting them. So, naturally, I had to stop. One would think that, because EVERYONE had been stopping all along the way, this would be no big deal but apparently when *I* stop I’m committing some huge felony because the guy behind me decided to honk and wave indignantly at me for not turning down the aisle and, you know, demolishing my car by smashing it into the guy pulling out. Yep.

So no big deal though… I’m a kind-hearted soul and I put the whole thing behind me. Truly, I did. Until this morning, when I was driving to work, and trying to merge from a right-turn feeder lane into the main traffic. There was a guy in front of me doing the same, and a woman behind me also doing same. Somehow you could tell the woman behind me was impatient – it was like her *car* looked impatient somehow. So traffic is not slowing, and I’m feeling very sorry for the guy in front of me, who is inching along and running out of space. I had the distinct feeling the woman behind me was going to merge and cut us both off as soon as space was available, so I pulled out as soon as I could too, and then slowed to let the guy in front of me in. Cue the rampant honking and, yes, indignant hand-waving from Bitchy McDriver behind me. And you know, this one was my fault. I totally forgot that it was much, much more important that SHE get to go to work without having to slow down at all, or else she’ll, you know, DIE. I could have been responsible for her death, and all because I had to stop and do a good deed and let a guy into traffic. What the hell is my problem, anyway. I’m some kind of sicko.

The more time I spend *not* driving in New York, the less I miss it. And this is a perfect example of why I don’t miss it. There is something about putting people in their own little metal, glass, and rubber bubbles that turns them into raving lunatics whereas outside of their bubbles, they may be perfectly nice, normal people. Thanks for sharing your moment, R. Kelly. I think we can all relate to this one!

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