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Man, my butt hurts! Sometimes, this can be a good thing, like if you’ve done a massive amount of squats or lunges, and you’re feeling that oh-so-desirable burn. You know, the one that tells you that you’re tonin’ that tush. This is a different kind of hurt–the kind that comes from biking longish distances without the proper apparel. All I can say is this: if you haven’t experienced this pain, don’t. I even have a fair amount of natural padding down there, but it’s not enough to get me through a 17.65-mile bike ride. Oof.
Yesterday, I went down to Paragon Sports in the hopes of finding at least one pair of shorts that would help get me through these bike rides. I stopped off first in the running apparel section, where I noticed they had Danskin triathlon stuff. The prices on their bike triathlon shorts were reasonable, so I picked up two pairs and tried them on. The first pair seemed inadequately padded. Now, it’s not as though I hopped on a bike and pedaled a while to figure this out, it just felt that way. The material also felt strange. Overall, the shorts felt a little bit loose, although I don’t think I should have gone one size down. The compression material didn’t feel like it was compressing much of anything. I have running shorts that are tighter than this, and that feel better. Except in the bum, of course. I thought maybe it was just the shorts, so I tried on the second pair, which were more expensive (and therefore, I figured, of a higher quality). This is where things got to be a bit Goldilocks-esque. Where the first pair seemed barely padded, these shorts felt like someone had sown a thick pillow into the crotch. Sorry for the graphic image, but I just feel like that’s the most accurate description I can give. In the back, the padding sort of stuck out beyond my body. I’m not sure how to describe it–kind of like I was trying to concel something. Like a small tail. The material of these shorts was similar to that of the other pair, which made me feel like there was a huge disequilibrium between the padding and the barely-there (in a bad way) feeling I had on the rest of my lower-half. In the end, I put both pairs back on their hangers and headed up to the cycling section of the store. Here, I was overwhelmed by both the selection and the prices. Hello, sticker shock! Needless to say, I left the store empty-handed, which is why I am writing today while sitting on a sore bum.
I think maybe the main problem here is that I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for in a pair of shorts. I would like thicker material, but maybe the thickness of the ones I tried on was standard? And maybe there’s a difference in material for bike shorts and triathlon shorts? The shorts I tried on both seemed to be usable for the swim portion of the tri, so maybe that’s why I felt a bit naked? I’m not sure. As far as the padding goes, though, I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to stick out like that, and although my observations here are far from scientific, it doesn’t look like it does on the model on the Danskin website.
Any bikers or triathletes out there who care to advise? I feel a little lost. Ultimately, I guess the search continues. Hopefully by the next ride I will either have a new pair of shorts or a healed backside!
First, an interesting although somewhat inconclusive (and slightly disconcerting for that reason) Personal Best article from the New York Times. It’s worth reading, especially if you’re interested in sports injuries or sports medicine.
Second, an update on how things are going. After my post on Tuesday (not immediately after, but you know what I mean), I got my butt out the door and ran a tempo run of close to 6 miles. The run consisted of a 15-minute warm up, 20 minutes of pace running, and then a slightly slower/cool down pace for the remainder of the run (approximately 15 more minutes). It was great! I’m glad I pushed myself to do it. It has definitely helped me to feel better about things. Yesterday I went swimming for the first time in a while (the university gym was closed all of last week and yesterday was the first time it’s been open), and that also felt really good. Today I have another run scheduled and I’m looking forward to it.
Having weathered the ebb and flow of depression for some time now, I’ve come to understand the significance of thinking, and its effects on mood. I know that when I’m in the midst of a depression, I tend to retreat into my thoughts and spend more time in my head (and give more credence to what goes on there, for better or for worse…and probably mostly for worse) than in the “real world”. This is not to say that I think more but do less when I’m depressed, and think less but do more when I’m feeling better. I think the key is that the quality of thoughts and actions are different during these times. I was able to tell, earlier this week, that this depression is lifting a bit when I started thinking seriously about some major goals I have, and how I might be able to achieve them.
Talking outloud about goals (or publishing them on a blog, or making them public, visible, and audible in any other way, shape, or form) is, I think, always difficult because of the risk involved. The minute you state that you want to do something, it becomes real. It’s no longer a nebulous cloud knocking around in your brain, it takes on a shape and a form and a character. You can have goals and aspirations for your entire life, but if you never acknowledge them, you might as well forget about them. I’ve had these goals for a while, and for a while, I’ve let them sit inside and stay there. I’ve talked about them with very few people, and that’s mostly been when I’m discouraged about them. The conversation usually centers around me saying, “I don’t see how I’ll ever manage to do X, Y, or Z.”
Today, though, I want to change that by stating my goals outloud and, hopefully, establishing them as beacons that will help me to continue to move forward and do the work I need to do in order to feel better more consistently. This is nervewracking, but I have to keep in mind that at one point, running a marathon was like this–something I wanted to do but didn’t want to acknowledge that I wanted to do for fear that I wouldn’t be able to do it. So, without further ado:
- Yoga teaching certification. This will, I hope, put me in a position where I can fairly consistently work as a teacher. I’ve even been thinking about ways that I could do this, build a client following, and, hopefully, open my own yoga studio. That would be the ultimate goal.
- Study nutrition and become a Registered Dietitian. Nutrition and fitness have been huge interests of mine since I was a wee bairn (it’s true, just ask my family) and I regret the fact that I talked myself out of studying the sciences when I was in college (yay lack of self confidence!). Now I find myself wishing I had studied nutrition, and lately I’ve been working on finding a way to do so while continuing to work full time. It seems doable, even though it will take some pretty hard work. Then again, so do most things that are worth doing.
I do, of course, have other goals, and they range from the (relatively) insignificant to the more important. But I think these are the ones that I really need to keep in some prominent place in my thoughts and think of as things that can help me move forward toward something I want rather than unattainable (and therefore somewhat silly) pipe dreams.
You might not know it from reading this blog, but I try to remain sort of upbeat when it comes to content. Surprised? I probably would be, given the fact that looking back, I feel like most of what I write is whiny and negative. Sorry. I know that can’t be any fun to read.
Anyway, I also feel like my posting has been a little erratic lately. I’ve actually been going through a rather rough depression. Some of you may be wondering how this is different from my usual rose-colored glasses self. Well, maybe it’s not much different. Maybe I’m in a perpetual state of depression. I don’t know. At any rate, I just know that last week was pretty unpleasant and extremely unproductive, which means this week needs to be better. Of course, as I write this, I’m feeling sort of blue and trying to figure out how I’m ever going to get up the courage to go running again.
My goal is, really, to make this week a better one than the last, which means eating well (I sort of fell off the wagon last week, having left town. I didn’t do poorly, but I didn’t do as well as I would have liked–fewer veggies and fruits, more stuff I don’t normally eat, like Chinese take-out with lots of white rice), getting back to training for the triathlon, and trying to maintain a positive attitude.
What I really feel like saying is I feel like every other week I am writing (or stating in one form or another), “Oh, I need to start over; last week/yesterday/last month/whatever period of time was bad, and I am hoping this upcoming [period of time] will be better.” And I kind of feel like every time I try to make things better, I fail. Or it doesn’t really last. And then I think, at one point do I just give up? I honestly don’t know. I guess that means that that point hasn’t come yet. Anyway, here’s to a better week.
In early May, after reading about The Daily Plate on Rachel’s blog, I decided to start an account of my own and see how things went. I’ve tried a pretty wide variety of online food journals before. I’ve also tried keeping my own food journal…with pen/pencil and paper. Crazy, I know! The problem with that is that all the calculations and recording gets a bit tedious. Online, the calculation part is eased somewhat, but entering the same foods over and over again can get annoying. Plus I find that usually (and in spite of entering my “activity level”), most sites give a recommended caloric intake that just seems really low. So I was pleased when MyPlate seemed to give a caloric goal that seemed appropriate for my active lifestyle, saved foods I ate regularly, had a huge number of foods in the online database already (I’ve only had to enter two things since I started using the site about three weeks ago. Everything else I’ve eated I have found through their search engine), and even gave me the option of entering and saving meals. This is a huge bonus for me because I eat the same breakfast every day and it has several components (oatmeal, banana, almond butter, protein powder [a new addition], ground flax seed, coffee, and milk)–having to enter each one of those things every day would be pretty tiresome. With MyPlate, all I have to do is click on the breakfast meal I’ve saved, and voilà! my entire meal with all of its pieces is recorded. In addition to their comprehensive food database, there is a very comprehensive activity database as well. You can even log 19th-century dance if that’s what you’re into.
Since I started food journaling on MyPlate, I have lost about four pounds and have gotten a lot of perspective on what I’m eating. For one thing, I’ve noticed that unless I really think about things, I tend to get far too many carbohydrates (70-80% of my caloric intake at times) and far too little protein (10-15% on a bad day). I started adding protein powder to my oatmeal to help get around this–I’ve actually noticed that I feel better as well as fuller (and I remain fuller longer) when I am getting adequate amounts of protein, which I guess isn’t all that surprising. Also, knowing that I am keeping track of what I’m eating, and seeing how it all adds up, has helped me to keep my emotional eating habits in check. Overall, I think using this site has been going really well!
One downside I’ve noticed, though, is that I’ve been getting a little bit obsessive about what I eat. I don’t think it’s time to sound the alarm about anything, but I’m curious to see if other people have this same experience when watching what they eat. I have not been restricting or anything like that. Like I said above, keeping track of everything has really helped me make healthy choices and has kept me reaching for fruit instead of cookies during an afternoon slump. At the same time, though, I find myself getting a little big hung up on times when I might not be able to accurately record what I’m eating. Ideally, I want to have at least a general record of what I’ve eaten on a given day. But when I end up getting out of my routine (like during last week’s work reception), I feel slightly uncomfortable, as though I am doing the wrong thing. I get a little big guilty, and find myself wishing I were in a more controlled environment.
Has anyone else had this problem? I think coping with it will involve the same things I am trying to incorporate into every other aspect of my life: a bit less rigidity, and a more forgiving, friendly, and supportive attitude toward myself. I guess someday I’ll get there.
Just a quick note to say that I finally updated my 30-day Shred page, and will be posting soon about my next 30-day challenge. And then I’ll write an actual post. And maybe not even in that order. But those two things are on the checklist.
So here’s a fun story: my workday yesterday was capped off with a reception for the department I work in. Generally, these things are pretty cordial events, everyone’s happy to be celebrating the end of the school year, etc. We always serve wine, and most people know how to consume in moderation (which, generally, is what you do when you’re at a function that is work-related). This, of course, excludes one colleague who is so well-known for getting absolutely sloshed at these receptions that it’s a wonder no one has arranged for an intervention.
That’s the first part of the back story. Here is the second part: Generally speaking, I don’t talk much about my running or my athletic endeavors with people. The major exception, of course, is this blog (which I started in part because I wanted to be connected to a community of people who understood what I was doing and would be able to share their stories as well), and family members and close friends. One of the reasons I don’t like talking about being a runner is because I’m always afraid someone is going to say, “You? Aren’t you a little fat to be a runner?” Or something to that effect. Something that essentially translates to that. There are endless variations. Maybe it’s an irrational fear. But why put myself in a position where it could happen? I’d rather just avoid talking about myself. Since most of what I do involves running or training in some form, I tend to stay quiet in a lot of party-type conversations.
I was talking to a coworker last night when drunky wandered over. I’d say he was well-sauced at this point, but not entirely past the point of conviviality. And he was certainly still coherent. He complained about something to my coworker (I sort of tuned it out) and then asked us both if we’d like a drink. I’d just had a can of seltzer water, said, “No, thanks, I just had something”, and was happy to leave it at that. He then says, “Oh, you don’t drink?” Because obviously, if you decline a drink from someone, you’re a teetotaller. There’s no gray area. My coworker (who, in her defense, was trying to get him to leave me alone) said, “Oh, no, she doesn’t drink, she’s an athlete.” He raised his eyebrows and said, “Oh? What do you do, exactly?” As we had already entered territory that I didn’t want to be in, I tried to sort of shrug it off. But since drunks have no sense of how to read social cues (mine at that point were all adding up to, ‘fuck off, asshole’), he pressed the issue. Finally I conceded, and said, “I’m a runner. I run.” I regretted it the instant I said it, because I knew where the conversation was going. “You run?” he repeated. “So how come you…How come you’re…you’re not…?” he sort of stammered, and I knew what he was trying to say. Even in his alcohol-induced stupor he had the sense to try to be tactful. And we all know that alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and all. But just because it lowers your inhibitions doesn’t mean it makes you tell lies or say things you don’t mean. Really, what it does is give you the courage to say the things you wouldn’t say otherwise, because your social graces prevent you from doing so. He managed to finish his sentence, “How come you’re not skinny?” And even though I hate it when people do this (for a variety of reasons: for one, it’s just annoying and rude to your interlocutor, for another, it shows how bothered you are with what’s just been said to you), I fired back with, “So you’re saying I’m fat?” Because essentially, that’s what you’re saying to someone when you ask them why they don’t look like a runner. He was unable to dig himself out of that hole and sort of wandered off, which just made me feel worse, because I kind of feel like if he hadn’t meant it that way, he would have been able to explain what he actually meant.
It doesn’t help, of course, that I stepped on the scale this morning and the number on it indicated that I had gained back the three pounds I’d thought I’d lost. I’m guessing this is just because of water retention due to sodium (crackers and cheese=reception food), but it just sort of adds insult to injury when you’re already feeling pretty crappy about your body.
I’m not sure what’s going on with this week. Classes are over, which means my workload should be considerably lessened, but for some reason I’m in the office (my job consists of a teaching component as well as an in-office component in which I organize events. It should also be noted that our events only run through the academic year, so this should be a stress-free week on all counts. Not so) for long days every day putting out fires and working on my new house under the bus. Let me tell you, the view down there is terrible. And there’s always this lingering odor of motor oil in the air. The Febreze does nothing! Seriously, though, it has not been a very good week, work-wise, and the stress of that has kept me from blogging even though I have so much I want to blog about. It’s frustrating, and I’ve been in a sour mood for the past few days. But here I am, taking a few quiet minutes away to check a blog post off the list of things to do.
So, first on the list? A review of the second pair of shorts I bought not too long ago! I know I still haven’t done a full review of the first pair, but I’ll get to that at some point. Not today. Today, I want to talk about the Zoot Ultra Run Short. Like the Nike shorts I bought, these are looser shorts with (short) compression shorts underneath. After wearing the Nike shorts for the Shred a few times (and not being thrilled with them) I was not optimistic about how the Zoot shorts would perform. Well, it turns out that since Zoot is a real athletic apparel company that makes gear that performs well and doesn’t just look nice on a hanger (*cough* Nike *cough*), I was actually in for a treat with these shorts. I gave them a test run with the Shred, and was pleased with how they felt. They are roomy without extra fabric pulling and gapping everywhere. The advantage to this is that you have real freedom of movement.
As you can see, these shorts are about the same length as the Nike pair I bought. The compression shorts are also around the same length, possibly a bit shorter. They also have a thicker band around the bottom, which doesn’t necessarily cause them to stay in place, but it must do something, right? The shorts also have pockets on either side (along the upper thigh, right below the waistband). The pockets do not close in any way which made me a bit nervous. However, I found that my worries were unfounded, as my keys didn’t move a bit during both the Shred (with lots of plyometric moves) and and a run.
During my run in these shorts, there was very minimal thigh-creeping! I didn’t find myself having to alter my gait to adjust my shorts, and I got to a point where I didn’t even have to think about them! Now that is significant, because normally when I am running with shorts, I can’t stop fussing and fidgeting with them as they ride up my legs and bunch as though they have a mind of their own. Sometimes I feel like they do it when I’m standing still. Not these bad boys, though. It’s almost as if Zoot actually tests their apparel designs on people and makes adjustments before finalizing the product, which is something I never got the impression other companies do. Not based on my familiarity with their practices, of course, just with my experience with their shitty products (hello, arm welts from ipod armband? yeah, enough said).
These shorts are slightly expensive, but for the peace of mind and awesome performance they offer, I would say they are worth every cent. I definitely recommend giving these shorts a try!
I went shopping today to pick up some swimming essentials, since triathlon training starts Monday and my first workout will be in the pool! I trekked (it actually wasn’t a bad trip, and it’s a beautiful day) downtown to Paragon Sports, which you should visit if you live in New York or are visiting. This place has a ton of stuff and an incredibly helpful (and not at all snooty) staff. Plus you can try on goggles before you buy them, which gets an A+ in my book.
My mission was to get what I would need for the swimming component of my training: a suit, goggles, and a few swim caps. Mission accomplished! Paragon Sports has a great selection of everything you could possibly want. I used to swim competitively, so I had a clear idea of what I wanted: basic suit, thick straps (it seems like a lot of brands are making thinner-strapped suits now, which I don’t really see being all that comfortable, what with the chafing), latex caps, mirrored and tinted goggles. It was strange buying swimming gear again, it’s been a super long time since I’ve done that. Very little has changed. It really took me back, though, to the days of weekly swim meets and being current with the latest suit designs, and having a favorite brand (I’m still partial to Speedo and have a weird thing againt TYR). You’ll also notice that I couldn’t help but pick up a PHELPS swim cap. I thought that was too hilarious to pass up. Sean (if you’re reading), that one’s for you! You may also notice the bottle of talcum powder, which I didn’t actually pick up at Paragon, but at CVS on my way home. This is to prevent your caps from becoming mushy, chlorine-eaten balls of useless latex. After swimming, let the cap dry a bit, then powder the inside. This makes it much easier to manipulate and get on your head, and also prevents the cap from sticking to itself (trying to separate it from itself can cause tearing and breaking). I hate the smell of powder, but this is an essential if you want your caps to last!
Hi, everybody! I feel like I’ve been away for a long time. The truth is I haven’t done much running lately, so I haven’t had much to blog about. I’ve also been sort of slacking in terms of reading others’ blogs. Sorry about that. The semester is over so things are in this weird transition period. I have not much to do, which you’d think would be conducive to massive productivity, but it’s not, really. But I think we’ve explored that topic before. So, moving on!
Last week was not great as I was sufficiently traumatized by a really bad run and sort of went on running hiatus. I did the Shred every day up to Thursday, though, at which point I started level 3. Oh my god. That thing is INTENSE. After Thursday, my schedule got crazy with a trip home for a memorial celebration for my recently deceased granddad. It was an emotional weekend and even though I intended to continue shredding and get some other cardio in, I didn’t. It was exhausting and busy and I just felt like all I could really do was make it through the days. So yesterday, I started level 3 of the Shred over again, and my goal is to get through this ten-day period with a 10/10 record. We’ll see!
Sunday morning, I raced a 5k with my mom. This was the race I was doing the speed training for, even though I don’t feel like I did much speed training at all. I went into the run figuring I would race it, but not have very high expectations. I certainly didn’t expect a PR considering the month I’d had.
Sunday was a pretty rainy, grey, and somewhat chilly day. This was actually good, though, because it meant I didn’t have to deal with wearing running shorts during the race! I was more than happy to pull on my CW-X 3/4 length tights and a 1/4 zip pull-over with a sleeveless top underneath. I’d run the race last year with my older sister (it was her first 5k!) so I was somewhat familiar with the course and knew it was pretty hilly in a few places, and had an especially steep (though fairly short) hill toward the end. The race honors Mark Vaughn Ferris, who passed away from juvenile diabetes and heart failure in 1999, and benefits the Joslin Diabetes Center. It is a small race, and well-organized. The volunteers and coordinators are all very nice and friendly. The only problem with it is that it seems to attract a lot of young teenagers and pre-teens. You know, the ones who run really hard and pass you, then instantly stop and start walking, so you pass them. Then they run really hard again, and pass you again. After a while, the cat-and-mouse game gets annoying. But I digress.
When the race started, I was out like a bat out of hell. I felt really good, like I was doing a really comfortable pace. I figured I was probably running 8:30 or so. I checked my watch at the first mile marker and saw that I’d actually run a 7:41. Sweet. During the second mile, I continued feeling pretty good, although I find myself having a hard time holding back, especially on the down-hill portions. My split for that mile was 7:01. When I saw that on my watch, the only thing I could think was, “Crap!” Except in my mind, my language was more colorful. I was pretty sure that after that mile, my fastest mile ever, there was not a very good chance I would be able to maintain a similar pace. I found myself wishing I’d run two more consistent miles, closer to an 8:00/mile pace.
Sure enough, during my third mile I had to slow waaaaay down, and even had to walk a bit up that steep hill toward the end of the course. My last mile (and .1 mile) was embarrassingly slow! My overall time was around 26:35, which is not bad at all. As I said, though, it would have been nice to run a more consistent race. At the same time, those first two splits were pretty exciting, especially given the fact that I didn’t feel like I was in the shape I wanted to be in. So the way I see it, I’m 2/3 of the way to a better 5k time! Imagine the possibilities with more consistent speed training!
Next week I start training for the triathlon, which I’m looking forward to. Until then, I’m just focusing on trying to build back up to regular running and continuing the Shred.
